I went down to AutoZone yesterday for some wiper fluid and bumped into my nephew Dave. He was staring at the replacement bulbs looking like he’d lost his best friend. Turns out his auto insurance premium just jumped up by forty percent. He hasn't had a ticket in ten years. Well, I pulled a news clipping out of my bag. GM just agreed to pay $220 million to settle up after getting caught selling customer driving data to insurance companies.
They branded the whole tracking scheme as "Smart Driver." It sounds like a certificate you get in high school for successfully parallel parking a sedan. In reality, it was just a digital snitch hiding behind the dashboard. You buy a vehicle and make the monthly payments. Then the thing immediately gets a side hustle ratting you out to data brokers for braking a little too hard at a stop sign.
Dave drives a fairly new Chevy. He thought that giant tablet bolted to the center console was just for changing the radio station and looking at maps. He had no idea his own car was keeping a detailed diary of his morning commute and quietly mailing it to corporate.
I miss the days when a car kept your secrets. My old 1988 Honda Accord never judged me. If I took a corner a bit too fast, the tires might complain, but the car didn't immediately dial a toll-free number to report my behavior to a risk management actuary. It was just a metal box with a carburetor. That was our whole arrangement.
I'm pretty sure we lost the plot when we stopped buying transportation and started buying little tattletales with heated seats. GM is paying the settlement, sure. Two hundred and twenty million dollars sounds like a massive penalty until you sit down and wonder how much profit they pulled in by selling out their own drivers in the first place. I don’t know about you, but I just find the whole thing exhausting. Every time you turn the ignition, you have to wonder which corporate server is riding shotgun.
Dave is currently looking at internet forums trying to figure out how to unplug the cellular antenna in his dashboard. I told him he'll probably void his warranty or the car will just refuse to shift out of park out of pure spite.
Have any of your insurance rates randomly spiked recently, and do you suspect your own car might be the one turning you in? Let me know what you think.
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