I was sipping my morning peppermint tea when I came across a Business Insider report that made me grip the edge of my kitchen table.
According to the report, people are paying $11,500 for a smart toilet with Amazon Alexa, surround sound, and neon LED mood lighting.
Eleven thousand dollars! For a toilet!
A toilet has exactly one job. You sit down, you push the little chrome lever, gravity pulls the water, and you wash your hands. That is the entire transaction!
Instead? We have a porcelain bowl with a speaker system. When I go into the powder room, I want peace and quiet. I do not want a robot cylinder listening to my acoustic vibrations! I do not need a laser light show!
Kevin told me it’s "convenient for busy professionals."
Kevin. If you are scheduling a board meeting from the toilet seat, your life is out of control!
You can buy regular toilet paper on Amazon right now. You don't need Alexa to hand it to you.
Put down the telephone, close your mouth, and use the bathroom like a civilized human.
Over to you: Does your commode have a Wi-Fi connection? Let me know in the comments.
P.S. Click the link for toilet paper. I might make a small commission.
Originally published on Substack.
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