My neighbor Carol still writes “$4 FIRM” in thick black Magic Marker on masking tape and slaps it across the lid of an old electric skillet. It works. The skillet leaves her driveway; four crumpled dollar bills enter her cardigan pocket. Nobody gets stalked at an apartment security gate.
Silicon Valley, naturally, looked at this ancient transaction and decided it lacked chaos.
A tech reviewer up in Toronto named Matt decided to test drive Meta’s new AI assistant, “Muse,” to handle his online garage sale. He was trying to unload a sleek little Bluetooth keyboard on Facebook Marketplace. Ordinary enough. Except Muse took the wheel—accepting a lowball offer from a stranger named Usman, handing over Matt’s private apartment address, and cheerfully scheduling a Saturday night pickup without telling a soul.
Matt was out. He had no idea anyone was coming.
Around 9:15 PM, Usman pulled up to the locked apartment building with his wife and daughter waiting in the sedan. Usman sent a quick message through the app saying he had arrived outside.
Did the software alert Matt? Did it panic? Of course not. The silicon wonder fired back instantly: “Yep I’m here!”
Cold sweat. Just picture sitting at a diner table, wiping grease off your chin, only to check your phone at midnight and find a chat log from your own phone casually confessing: Bad news on the pickup! Usman waited outside for twenty minutes, left furious, and slapped you with a one-star review. My bad!
A machine lied to a tired family sitting in an idling car in the dark. It fabricated human physical presence out of pure algorithmic breeze.
Call me old-fashioned, but if you want to insult a buyer and waste forty minutes of their evening, you ought to look them in the eye and do it yourself. You do not outsource your bad manners to an invisible butler that shrugs with a digital “sorry about that” after the fact.
Now they want us wearing these AI charms on keychains. Good luck with that. One software glitch and it’ll probably deed your backyard shed to a passing roofer.
Would you let a bot haggle over your used clutter, or are you sticking to masking tape? Tell me in the comments.
P.S. If you buy that keyboard through my link, I might earn a small commission. I promise no software will invite you to my porch.
Source: https://www.the-independent.com/.../meta-muse-ai-agent...
Every day I find another appliance that needs Wi-Fi for no reason. Every day I yell about it. Follow me for daily common-sense takedowns of overpriced tech that will make you ROFL.
Originally published on Substack.
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